I feel the need to help

Lately there is nothing in the media that is positive about our youth. It is sooo sad that the media finds it necessary to continue to only show all the heinous and horrific thing's that our youth of today are doing. It doesn't help that the majority of music and video games show our youth such deplorable actions. Why aren't parent's monitoring what their kids are watching and listening to? A lot of these parent's are so busy doing whatever it is that they want to, that they want their kids to leave them alone. So, these kids are essentially raising themselves. They are being raised by television, video games, and the streets.
Some of these kids are doomed from the start. They never had a chance to be something. I am praying for these kids. I am praying that God sends someone to save them. I am praying that they decide they want more then what they see in their immediate future. Lord cover our children. Keep them safe from all evil and harm.
 I will start my Outreach house to start doing my part to help our kids.

How fast time fly's...

Well Hello everyone;
Sorry I haven't written in a minute. I was celebrating my son's 9th birthday. I did not realize kids just keep going and going. They do not stop until they are in the car and enroute home. But boy when they fall out, they are out. I remember when I first delivered my son and his God-father slept with him on his chest. That little boy just ate and ate and ate, he still does. He was always doing things his way. He never crawled, he just got up and walked at the age of 6 months. He walked so early that his legs were really bowed, he was so bowed we had to take him to a specialist. The specialist said "He's fat and walked too soon, but his legs will straighten out." Well they did, but he is still pigeoned toed (He has a cute walk). He has grown in to such a sexy little man. I am enjoying watching were God is taking him.

Why do we settle for what we know we don't want.

Why do we stay with someone we know we don't want to spend the rest of our lives with? Why do we try to tell ourselves "Oh he/she will change...He/She will stop doing that...He/She will start doing that because he/she knows I like it." I have recently found that a lot of my friends are in relationships that have no joy. They are in relationships where they are just giving it their all and getting little or nothing in return. I have a friend who eventhough she has grown, she still wants to be loved and is finding it in all the wrong people. I have a friend who is married/living with a woman and she could care less about his needs. My other friend was in a marriage for several years and it was always his way, and never mind what her needs were. She stayed married for several years under that pretence of "the kids...my benefits...what else can I do?" Even after he cheated and neglected the kids...At what point to you say enough is enough? At what point do we say "My feelings matters...My wants, my desires, and needs matter...what I need matters!" You know when I was married I allowed myself to not matter, until I had had enough and said "the hell you preach my feelings and needs matter. I need to be made love to. I need you to be a father to our child. I need our child not to suffer because you are self centered and self absorbed. I need you to give me what I give. Well when I found out he was never going to put us first, I made the heart retching decision to leave. It was so bad because I loved him and we were married, but I had a duty to my child and myself. I was a good wife and I needed a good husband. At the end of the day you have to know your worth. After all his single friends kept telling me how lucky he was to have me (and telling him) I left to Los Angeles. Out there I was reminded just how fabulous I was. I also was seeing someone who give me all I needed sexually. That was when I realized, damn I didn't know it could be that good...Now I am older and much more secure in my needs,wants, and desires. There is no such thing as a "Perfect relationship",but there are just certain things I know I have to have and need if you want to be in a relationship with me. Take the time to find yourself and know what you need and want, if you know you need someone who will wear high heels in bed while you are making love, then you know you need to have that type of person as your mate, don't get with someone that say "No", but you hope they will change. You are in denial and can't be mad if they won't do it. You can only be made at yourself. What you must have and what you may be able to live without. Don't let people dictate to you your worth. Be true to yourself and don't settle, you will only end up living life sad and unfulfilled.

I just don't believe it!!

Just when I think I have everything under control...BLAME!! I get blind sided. I have this boyfriend and he is sweet (when he wants to be). He has never been disrespectful me or anything of that nature. He just doesn't do things the way that I want him to. I have asked and I have pouted, he say's he will and that he is trying, but damn it isn't that hard. He was getting better, but then he went back to the way it was. He said it was because he was preoccupied with finals, so we shall see now that they are over. However, there is one slight problem...I don't think he can love me the way I want to be loved. I am trying to give him a chance and not expect to much, however...I do expect certain things and I won't settle for anything less, I deserve the best becasuse I give the best and will except nothing less. Please tell me if I am wrong,becasuse I really don't think so?

Growing up...

Well today I realize I have really grown as a parent. Tonight my daughter came home from school on her winter break. I tricked her into telling me that she is now having "sex!" I didn't faint or vomit... I didn't even yell or ask her why? She is 18 yrs old and has been a virgin up til now, so I must say I have been blessed with that. All her life I have told her the reprecautions of having sex and to make sure to protect herself. God is really working on me, and I see it every day. I just hope my son can follow in the same footsteps and stay a virgin until he is atleast 18 yrs old. He still continues to minster to people and hung everyone he see's. Please continue to pray for me and my sanity, Lord knows I need it.

Trying to learn....

Well today I have a new lesson to tell you about...it is about making a decision and knowing that it is the wrong one, but sticking with it anyway. I find it hard to go back once I have decided that this is the best thing for me. I love my life, I love how my kids have turned out, I love how my friends are growing in life, and I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't change a thing, because once you start second guessing God and what he as done for you, then he will remind you of how much you HAD. Because being ungrateful will cost you dearly, and I don't know about you, but my arms are too short to box with GOD. I am greatful for all the blessings that God has bestowed upon me and the people that I love and care about. I know I haven't always done right, but he still loves me just the same. Remember that God loves you no matter what you do or have done. He knew you before you were born, he knows everything you have done and are about to do. Just trust in him he won't let you down. He will always love you. I know tgat for a fact, because I have done some things that only he could forgive me for. He has brought be through things I can't even begin to tell you about, but as I go along on my blog I will try. Keep the faith.

Trying to understand why things are so hard

Well today has been an interesting day. I was in a car accident and at the point that my head started to spin, I immediately remembered that God is so good to me. My friends come when I call them. My boyfriend was coming to the hospital if they were going to admit me,because he has finals today, and I need him to do well and move to the next level so he can graduate. It is funny praying will sure give you clarity about situations. I am in love with a man, that isn't sure how to communicate with me. I truly feel like he loves me, but is afraid of it. Why is it so darn hard?