I just don't believe it!!

Just when I think I have everything under control...BLAME!! I get blind sided. I have this boyfriend and he is sweet (when he wants to be). He has never been disrespectful me or anything of that nature. He just doesn't do things the way that I want him to. I have asked and I have pouted, he say's he will and that he is trying, but damn it isn't that hard. He was getting better, but then he went back to the way it was. He said it was because he was preoccupied with finals, so we shall see now that they are over. However, there is one slight problem...I don't think he can love me the way I want to be loved. I am trying to give him a chance and not expect to much, however...I do expect certain things and I won't settle for anything less, I deserve the best becasuse I give the best and will except nothing less. Please tell me if I am wrong,becasuse I really don't think so?

Growing up...

Well today I realize I have really grown as a parent. Tonight my daughter came home from school on her winter break. I tricked her into telling me that she is now having "sex!" I didn't faint or vomit... I didn't even yell or ask her why? She is 18 yrs old and has been a virgin up til now, so I must say I have been blessed with that. All her life I have told her the reprecautions of having sex and to make sure to protect herself. God is really working on me, and I see it every day. I just hope my son can follow in the same footsteps and stay a virgin until he is atleast 18 yrs old. He still continues to minster to people and hung everyone he see's. Please continue to pray for me and my sanity, Lord knows I need it.

Trying to learn....

Well today I have a new lesson to tell you about...it is about making a decision and knowing that it is the wrong one, but sticking with it anyway. I find it hard to go back once I have decided that this is the best thing for me. I love my life, I love how my kids have turned out, I love how my friends are growing in life, and I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't change a thing, because once you start second guessing God and what he as done for you, then he will remind you of how much you HAD. Because being ungrateful will cost you dearly, and I don't know about you, but my arms are too short to box with GOD. I am greatful for all the blessings that God has bestowed upon me and the people that I love and care about. I know I haven't always done right, but he still loves me just the same. Remember that God loves you no matter what you do or have done. He knew you before you were born, he knows everything you have done and are about to do. Just trust in him he won't let you down. He will always love you. I know tgat for a fact, because I have done some things that only he could forgive me for. He has brought be through things I can't even begin to tell you about, but as I go along on my blog I will try. Keep the faith.

Trying to understand why things are so hard

Well today has been an interesting day. I was in a car accident and at the point that my head started to spin, I immediately remembered that God is so good to me. My friends come when I call them. My boyfriend was coming to the hospital if they were going to admit me,because he has finals today, and I need him to do well and move to the next level so he can graduate. It is funny praying will sure give you clarity about situations. I am in love with a man, that isn't sure how to communicate with me. I truly feel like he loves me, but is afraid of it. Why is it so darn hard?

Why do you always love someone who....

Why do you love those that don't love you the way you want them to? Why is it when you try to make it all work out fine, it just isn't enough? Then you wonder is it me or is it them? People always say "they want someone who will be supportive and stand by them." But when they get it, they don't seem to want it all. I have decided that, it isn't me. I don't ask for anything that I am not willing to do. I will stand by your side if you let me, but I will not let it be at the expense of my emotionally state of mind. When it becomes to much work then you must take a step back and hope God takes control. Always be true to yourself!